Review: Uncharted

Just from watching Uncharted, it wouldn't come as a surprise to learn that Tom Holland was a massive fan of the game it's based on and turning it into a movie was a lifelong ambition - he's constantly giving it his all in every scene while those around him seem five seconds away from taking out their phones to check their social media stats. 

Then again, it's just as likely his management team sat him down and told him he can't be the Spider-Man guy forever and if he doesn't kick-start another franchise soon then his days of fancy Hollywood premieres will be over. Remember that guy who played Captain America? Not any more you don't.

Just look at co-star Mark Wahlberg, who well within living memory was the biggest box office draw on the planet (and was originally cast in the lead here a decade ago) but now seems lucky to be a sidekick in a video game adaptation where his character largely vanishes from screen every time there's an action sequence. It's a weird choice for him, as he's never given off the kind of "lovable rogue" vibes this role requires: you can easily imagine him cheating you and ripping you off, just not the "ha ha, only kidding" part.

The story here is yet another Hollywood treasure quest complete with clues and death traps and codes and maps, none of which make a lick of sense on any level. Seriously, if you want to get any enjoyment out of this film at all do not spend a single second thinking about any of the puzzles; as you might expect, this is a problem for the movie as a whole.

Holland is Nathan Drake, orphan turned bartender and pickpocket, who a): gets a lot of mysterious postcards from his runaway older brother Sam, who shared his obsession with the past and pirates and treasure and so on, and b): has Victor "Sully" Sullivan (Wahlberg) turn up at his bar one evening in a way that might make you think he's really Sam but no, he's a completely unrelated treasure hunter who wants Nathan's help and figures negging him like it was still 2014 is the way to get it.

All you really need to know from there is that Nathan gets into a lot of (not bad) action scenes that require him to be very flexible, there's a running joke about his old cigarette lighter (that doesn't light) that never pays off, and the hunt requires them to go to all the usual locations - you know, fancy auction house, catacombs under a European city, the jungle primeval.

Also, you can't trust anyone when it comes to treasure - including seemingly helpful Chloe Frazer (Sophia Ali), seemingly unhelpful Jo Braddock (Tati Gabrielle), and rival treasure seeker Santiago Moncada (Antonio Banderas). And that all-action flash-forward scene the film opens with? That's about as good as it gets.

Holland is the real draw here and he gives it all he's got, providing a charming, relentlessly likable performance that's easily the best thing about this film (and the only reason to wish for a sequel). Everyone else is fully aware they're in a limp jumble of stale Hollywood adventure cliches; he's the one taking it all seriously, presumably because this is his big chance to show he can make bank out of a Spider-Man costume. 

Or any costume really. If it's surprising how often he either ends up in a soaking wet top or entirely shirtless, that's only because Marvel movies are so remorselessly sexless even the slightest reminder that Holland is a movie star - and those guys are traditionally meant to be objects of desire - now seems more startling than any rusty death trap.

- Anthony Morris