Review: The Dog Stars

It's reassuring to see a movie that reminds us that, even after the apocalypse, there's always going to be poor people wanting to steal our stuff. So ingrained are these fears that in The Dog Stars they outlast America itself: society has vanished in every way, and yet crime gangs wanting something for nothing remain.

A few years on from a flu pandemic that pretty much wiped out humanity, Hig (Jacob Elordi) has a pretty sweet deal going. Living on an airfield with his gruff hetrosexual life partner Bangley (Josh Brolin), he flies his plane into depopulated Denver to collect supplies, occasionally hangs out with a isolated religious community that take in surviving children - nothing dodgy there - and then comes home to chill out, have a beer, play cards, and occasionally shoot intruders before they have a chance to speak.

While Bangley is digging the survivalist vibes of their way of life, Hig is still depressed over the death of his wife and is hoping there's other survivors out there. The occasional radio message from Grand Junction, combined with a crime gang attack that hits a little too close to home, sends him flying off on a one-way trip to try and reconnect with someone.

One of the few strengths of this film is that it (often) sticks to an aggressively low-key approach to things. Yes, there are roving bands of kill-crazy lunatics; later on there's what is basically an Indian (as in, Cowboys & Indians) war party, and if you're wondering if any survivors have gone insane and turned into cannibals, that is also a box that is eventually ticked.

(none of which makes much sense, as we're repeatedly shown that almost everyone died pretty quickly, leaving behind everything a roving band of killers could want without having to bother with the killing part) 

But this also features a lengthy period where the main drama is "will Hig be able to pull up a bunch of tree stumps?". No spoilers, but we're so used to these stories ending in some kind of climactic battle that when this instead focuses on re-establishing a new status quo its almost unsettling in its refusal to put lives on the line.

That doesn't make it a good film though. The action scenes are competent until you notice that they're gleefully dehumanising the attackers in a way that's more than a little problematic. It's the story of a group of people who have a lot, shooting anyone who comes on their property and burning their bodies (yeah, that smoke isn't going to be a giveaway either). Early on it feels like it's going to question that dynamic, but then Hig just flies off.

The Dog Stars ends up a strange and not exactly satisfying mix of post-apocalyptic genres. For long stretches it wants to be about people trying to figure out how to keep going when everyone they loved is dead, then those same people make a bunch of other people dead because that's just what you do after the world ends.  

There's a more interesting and impactful film inside this one, buried just a little too deep for any dog to dig out.

- Anthony Morris 

 

Review: Spa Weekend

Spa Weekend is a bit of a throwback - well, every comedy that makes it to the big screen these days is a throwback, the golden age of big screen comedy now being firmly a decade or more in the rear view. But it's the kind of "we got a bunch of comedians together and let them improv scenes" comedy that once ruled the roost... and then wore out its welcome. Have lessons been learnt? 

Well, kind of. After a premise-establishing prologue in which all four main characters are set in stone as kids, we jump forward to today to see how they're coping with adulthood. Short answer: not well.

Jane (Leslie Mann) is a high powered lawyer so snowed under with work and single motherhood that when a cute lawyer hits on her she can't schedule a date for the next three months. Sophie (Anna Farris) works for a controlling boss who is basically a man-baby, Coco (Michelle Buteau) has anger issues that destroyed her relationship to her nice guy ex, and Mel (Ilsa Fisher) is... seemingly in France, which is where everyone would like her to stay because she's a maniac.

With Jane's birthday coming up, Coco and Sophie gently nudge her towards the idea of a spa weekend. Nobody really wants Mel to ruin the vibe, so she's out. The resort is luxe (it was filmed on the Gold Coast), the vibe is chill, and is the hot yoga teacher (Adam Demos) checking Jane out?

Isla Fisher is first in the credits so no surprise she turns up. Sophie felt bad for not inviting her and who thought she'd fly in from France? Now it's a real party, in that every single relaxation session they're booked in for dissolves into chaos. Not that "goat yoga" could really have gone any other way.

Written and directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (The Hangover), this is a wobbly mix of luxury resort porn and wacky comedy that never fully invests in either. Somewhat surprisingly, this is a good thing: the comedy remains at least slightly grounded, and the fancy settings are occasionally worth checking out when the laughs falter. Which they do on a regular basis.

The best thing here is the performances, which are likable across the board and (mostly) restrained enough to avoid being painful when the jokes fall flat. None of these characters have more than the one dimension, but there's just enough going on to make their predictable plights slightly engaging.

If that all sounds like damning with faint praise, that's because it is. This is a comedy that's as beige as the resort surroundings - presumably as the result of some heavy editing, as there's the occasional hint that originally things might have been a bit more out there (there's one reference to Mel bringing a lot of cocaine with her, but aside from a party montage it's never shown).

This is a film that knows its audience: middle aged people who in theory like to laugh but in practice just want to be distracted from the real world for 90 minutes or so. It's a low bar to clear, but it just about manages it. Hopefully every single person in this film got to take a break afterwards, because after this they all deserve a real holiday.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Insidious: Out of the Further

One of the fun things about the Insidious franchise is that none of the lore matters in any way. There's a place where all the evil dead people go and they like messing with the living: now you're all caught up. 

In fact, remembering the previous five films only gets in the way of the spooky thrills here - you don't want to be wondering what happened to Angus Sampson and Leigh Whannell's low-rent Ghostbusters when you should be scanning every inch of the screen for creepy figures in the background that shouldn't be there.

After a prologue that makes it very clear she had a very messed-up childhood, we meet the adult Gemma (Amelia Eve), who is making a whole lot of very basic life mistakes when it comes to living in a world where evil ghosts are real. 

Not only is she still living in the house where her crazy mother killed herself, she has all her mum's stuff boxed up in the garage, refusing to either deal with it or throw it out. Even worse, she's a dental nurse; if you're at all squeamish about teeth, there are multiple scenes here that are not for you.

Despite that, everything seems to be going smoothly for her and her daughter Maya (Island Austin) on the streets of suburban Melbourne (pretending to be Pittsburgh) until a very odd-looking trio of weirdos move into the neighbourhood and start grinning at her. Suddenly she's having the kind of nightmares that blend seamlessly with reality, Maya is starting to freak out at the way her mother is falling apart, and is history about to repeat itself? 

Not if Elise Rayne (Lin Shaye) has anything to do with it. Being dead hasn't stopped the psychic from stepping up in previous installments - she's the only real link to the other films here - and when she shows up in one of Gemma's dreams it's clear that what the single mother's experiencing isn't just the result of a too-spicy late night snack. 

Not only is she being pulled into The Further (the place where evil ghosts hang out), but the malevolent yet snazzily-dressed spirits have a serious reason for their interest in her. Now if she doesn't figure out a way to stop them, they just might be able to use her as a way back into the real world. Which would be bad for just about everyone, especially as it seems some ghosts come with working shotguns (are the guns also dead?). 

None of this is especially fresh or though-provoking, but it does hold together as a story. That bumps it a notch above the usual "ghosts are real and / or people are being possessed" Blumhouse thriller. The random jumpscare sequences early on have a point to them, the bad guy has an actual plan beyond "be scary", and there's just enough twists to get you moderately invested in the outcome.

In a great year for inventive horror, this competent but overly familiar thriller only occasionally rises to the challenge. There are a few memorable sequences (getting lost in a seemingly endless couch cushion fort, some squirmy dental horror) and exactly one decent joke. There's also a lot of tattoo'd fruit, which makes less sense the more you think about it, even if Elise's conduit to the land of the living is a psychic tattoo artist (Maisie Richardson-Sellars).

As it's gone on, the Insidious series has lost the giddy edge that made the initial installments stand out. Now the scares are merely solid, the characters basic and rote; even if you don't remember the previous films, you'll feel like you've seen it all before. It's a nightmare where even the living are trapped in an eternal repetitious loop.

- Anthony Morris 

 

Review: One Night Only

One Night Only is a film about two very different things, and there are a lot of good reasons why they don't go well together. It's possible to see why someone might have thought the idea of bringing these two things together could have resulted in a winning film, but this particular take on the concept never commits one way or the other. It's too much but not enough, which is never a good start to a relationship.

The more charitable reading here is this: at a moment where the pressure is on the have sex, and in a world that seemingly values the physical act above all else, two young people gradually realise they want to build a relationship on something more than just a physical act. Sounds like a winner? Hang on a second.

To judge this film purely based on that reading - we'll get to the problems in a minute - it's a moderately entertaining take on the timeworn "one crazy night" genre. Our two leads - pizza store proprietor Owen (Callum Turner), and advertising jingle singer with slightly bigger dreams Allie (Monica Barbaro) - both start the night with firm romantic plans, only to have things repeatedly thrown into disarray even as they keep running into each other.

The jokes are good (not great) and the pair have decent chemistry without ever being overwhelmingly convincing as lovers. Which works for the story - it's meant to be something of a slow burn. If it didn't have a completely insane hook it would be the kind of film that vanishes without trace, a slightly sweet, occasionally silly take on two people falling in like.

Problem is, this film has a hook that is, as previously mentioned, completely insane: in a near-future US that looks identical to today, the government has made premarital sex illegal. But don't worry - to keep all the unmarried fornicators on board, the law is lifted once a year for 12 hours. Hurrah?

The idea is that while everyone else is rutting like rabbits, Owen and Allie discover a deeper connection through being forced by various wacky situations to wait. Turns out it's harder to get laid on a night when everyone is looking to get laid than you might think; Allie keeps meeting creeps, Owen keeps getting interrupted, it seems premarital sex is only allowed with a condom and they now cost a hundred bucks each.

The trouble is that "being forced to wait" is exactly the thinking behind this horrifically repressive situation. Which means the film ends up suggesting that a law that prevents people from doing what they want with their own bodies is... good? It's Keep it in Your Pants: The Movie.

If this was just explained in an opening crawl and never mentioned again, it's possible One Night Only could have worked as just a slightly weird rom-com. But it's constantly mentioned throughout the film in ways that are impossible to ignore. We even learn how it's enforced: everyone is implanted with a sex chip that turns green when it's legal to have sex and reports you to the cops if you try to get it on at any other time. Wow, how romantic.

This is such a bleakly repressive situation that the fact people aren't constantly rioting in the streets becomes a plot hole. There is a lot of anti "mandate" graffiti around the place, but we're told this Sex Purge has been going on for three years now and it doesn't seem like sex-starved youth have been assassinating high level government officials on a regular basis, which feels a little implausible.

It's possible all this is a very dark joke at people's ability to adapt to and accept nightmarish political situations. But this never really spells it out in a way that suggests there's more going on here than what it seems. That is to say, it seems to be a romantic comedy built around a premise that sounds entertainingly silly until you start to think about it. 

Which means One Night Only's big problem is one that's ruined a lot of casual sex: overthinking it.

- Anthony Morris