Review: Ready or Not 2: Here I Come

The original Ready Or Not way back in 2019 was a comedy-horror twist on final girl tropes, the latest in an off-on line of movies where rich people hunted the poor because it was fun and they were evil. Ready or Not 2: Here I Come arrives at a time when killing the rich (on screen) is more popular than ever; good thing we know the hunted pretty much always become the hunter.

Kicking off roughly one second after the end of the previous film, we see Grace (Samara Weaving) stagger out of a burning mansion in a blood-soaked wedding dress then promptly collapse, leading to a lot of unanswered questions at the local hospital. Seems like she's in a lot of trouble, even before her estranged sister Faith (Kathryn Newton) shows up for some spiky banter.

But while the police are getting heavy, the real threat is getting ready to strike. Seems surviving her wedding has triggered an upheaval in the world of the Satanic Elite, and now the whole "ruling the world" thing is in play. 

Chester Danforth (David Cronenberg), the previous title holder, is too feeble to defend his title, so it's up to his children, evil twins Titus (Shawn Hatosy) and Ursula (Sarah Michelle Gellar), to step up. But there's a bunch of other rivals eligible to take the crown (well, ring), and so the stage is set for a much bigger hunt in a much bigger location. But is bigger better when it comes to this kind of thing?

The story zips along and there's enough twists and turns to keep the "they're all trying to kill you" drama at least somewhat fresh. Faith's stand-alone charm doesn't add a whole lot to proceedings - anything that takes screen time away from Grace is a bad thing, as her stressed-out desperation is a large part of the appeal here - and the snarky banter drags a little, but eventually this finds a new gear to grind.

A stronger addition is Elijah Woods as Satan's smirking lawyer, the man with the big book who explains all the rules and loopholes. The kills are often entertaining, the hunters are a varied lot united by pretty much all being clueless dorks (they're often not even that good at murder), and the joke that displeasing Satan will make you explode in a shower of blood never gets old.

There's a bunch of fun scenes and strong performances (largely from Weaving and Wood), but the connecting material often feels flimsy. Still, going from not bad gags to okay banter to decent action to gory deaths and back again isn't the worst way to spend 100-odd minutes. If they do make a third film - hopscotch in a minefield perhaps - here's hoping Satan lifts his game.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Cold Storage

Slime, goo, body horror, action, a bunch of jokes and some misfits rising to the occasion: Cold Storage is the kind of film that not everyone will like, but those that do will like it a lot. There isn't really a name for this particular niche - Tremors is the touchstone, but films like Slither carry the torch - but despite never really breaking out they keep on coming back. Seems the people who do like them are often film makers themselves.

When Skylab crashed in the late 70s, it spread a bunch of wreckage across Western Australia. A decade or three later a fungus on one of those chunks of debris came to life, ate a small town, and only the actions of a containment team led by Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) kept it under control. Not all the team survived.

A small sample was kept, dumped in a top secret government vault, decades passed, privatisation happened, and today the vault is a cut-price storage warehouse. And the fungus left behind in a freezer is starting to wake up.

For minimum wage worker "Teacake" (Joe Keery), the night shift is just another chance to keep his head down. New hire Naomi (Georgina Williams) is a bit more proactive. Together they decide to investigate the weird beeping noise coming from the bowels of the facility. This would usually not be a good idea, but considering there's already a zombie cat outside, the faster they find out what's going on the faster they can start dealing with fungus-infected humans. Of which there are a steady stream.

There's a fair bit going on here: this isn't exactly deep, but it is wide. Suicidal old ladies, infected ex's, an extremely rag-tag bikie gang who arrive to buy dodgy 4K TV sets, and vomiting deer all push the story forward. And that's not counting the return of Quinn, who is still in the loop as far as the contents of the vault and is coming out of retirement to take care of things once and for all.

Adapted by David Koepp (most Jurassic Park movies, various other blockbusters) from his novel, and directed by UK TV stalwart Jonny Campbell, this is a polished product (despite all the slime) that keeps throwing new ingredients into the mix. Not all of them are first class - Teacake and Naomi are likable enough, but there's probably an excess of backstory with both of them - but there's enough going on that the more time-worn elements don't drag the whole thing down.

Which is to say, while this is a zombie movie of sorts, it doesn't belabor the gory point. There's also a bunch of weird animals, living bad guys, and "don't get it on you!" sequences that keep things fresh, plus Neeson is off in basically another movie for a large chunk of the run time which doesn't hurt. Just don't ask too many questions about exactly how the fungus is meant to spread (does it have spores or what?)

Cold Storage might feel a little reheated at times, but there's enough flavour left in the many ingredients to create a tasty snack. Well, apart from all the vomiting.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Project Hail Mary

So Grace (Ryan Gosling) wakes up on a spaceship with no idea of who he is or why he's there. The rest of the crew are dead, and the ship is almost at the Tau Ceti system, eleven light years from Earth. Sure, he's stressed out, but don't worry; as indicated by his cry of "am I smart?" after automatically figuring something out, Project Hail Mary is all about entertainment, not angst.

Which is a little surprising considering Grace soon figures out (and remembers - as the present day story progresses, lengthy flashbacks fill in his past) that he's part of a last ditch mission to save Earth's sun from being eaten by space microbes. As this is based on an novel by Andy Weir (The Martian), this somewhat shaky idea is basically an excuse to throw around some real science, but again, no need to worry; despite literally every character in the movie being a genius, the explanations are kept down to earth.

Before, Grace was a massively overqualified high school science teacher who was roped into a project by the world's scientists - led by Eva Stratt (Sandra Muller) - to figure out what was going on. Now he's at Tau Ceti, the only infected star system where the sun isn't slowly going out. He's there to find answers. And he's not the only one.

Also alone in his spaceship is an alien eventually dubbed Rocky (James Ortiz) - it seems it's a little difficult keeping a full crew alive in outer space. A spider-like creature that's basically a hand made out of rocks, Rocky is a skilled engineer, and once Grace figures out a way for them to communicate we've got something of a buddy comedy in space complete with wacky bickering. Oh yeah, and saving two separate worlds.

At its core, this isn't any smarter than any number of big dumb Hollywood blockbusters. What makes it seem like it is, on the surface at least, is a few offbeat choices here and there. The threat to the sun isn't an alien invasion, and the response doesn't involve blowing something up; Rocky is alien in form and abilities, even if his (his?) personality turns out to be pretty standard sidekick material.

Likewise, by downplaying the drama - the big emotional reveal of the story is totally undercut by both the film's structure and the way nobody actually seems to care about it - this takes on a tone of "we're above all that". This would like to be seen as an intellectual thriller, even if the content is firmly down the crowd-pleasing end of the scale.

Where The Martian was relatively low stakes (one man, live or die) and the threat here is of a new ice age and half the world's population dying in a few decades, The Martian also had a ticking clock that was constantly ratcheted up; one mistake and it was all over. Here, the tension is nearly non-existent: scenes are leisurely, time stretches or contracts as needed (numerous scenes take place over days or weeks) and with such a limited cast nobody is expendable.

What this does have in spades is problem solving, and as with The Martian that turns out to be enough. Seeing likable people (and aliens) working together to figure stuff out is solid entertainment, and this mixes in enough variety - the flashbacks are also about problem solving but of a different kind, while being in space does prove to occasionally be both exciting and hazardous - to keep the two and a half hour run time flowing freely.

Gosling's role here is largely to deploy charisma as a character who's main setting is "flustered", while Rocky is endearing enough for there to be some actual tension when his life is at risk. Despite being a two-hander (Grace and Eva in the past, Grace and Rocky in the present), this feels epic enough to be a satisfying big screen experience, all the while making sure the story stays focused on human-level concerns like working together and making friends. 

It's a heart-warming, optimistic vision of the future - based on global cooperation and taking firm action on a looming climate disaster. So sadly, despite the science and the spaceships, this is a fantasy through-and-through.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: The Bride!

Assembling a Frankenstein movie out of bits of other movies is on point as far as approach goes, but it does leave you with one problem: how do you get audiences to buy in to a film that constantly threatens to become little more than a list of references to other films? 

In the case of The Bride!, writer-director Maggie Gyllenhaal solves the problem two ways. The first involves throwing a lot of things at the audience: this is a mash-up of multiple genres featuring a large cast who all have more going on than it seems, plus there's a number of shoot-outs and hostage situations with a couple of dance numbers thrown in. If you're after a wild ride, look no further.

The second is the cast. Jessie Buckley is an actor with pretty much only one gear and that's flat-out, so given the chance to play a 1930s gangster's moll who gets possessed by the spirit of Mary "I wrote Frankenstein and I have another story to tell" Shelly before being killed, dug up, brought back to life and then struggling to figure out where to go from there? We're back to "wild ride" territory.

Alongside her for much of the film is Frankenstein (Christian Bale) - forget all that "technically he's the monster" stuff, he took his father's name. He's turned up in 1930s Chicago on the doorstep of Dr. Euphronius (Annette Benning), to find himself a mate: crushed by loneliness and knowing that the good Doctor is basically a mad scientist, this is his last roll of the dice to find love.

Frank (as everyone calls him) is a cultured, gentle fellow, aside from the occasional crushing of skulls, and Bale's performance is easily the most human thing here. For an unholy monster, he grounds the events in something human and believable: a decent man who loves a woman, and gives her the space to figure out if she loves him in return.

He's also obsessed with Hollywood musicals, especially those featuring Ronnie Reed (Jake Gyllenhaal). Which is why he spends a lot of time hanging out in cinemas - so much so that when Frank and The Bride go on the run after a lethal altercation at a jazz / sex club, detective Jake Wiles (Peter Sarsgaard) and his deputy / secretary (who's the brains of the outfit) Myrna Mallow (Penelope Cruz) figure they can track them down by hitting the cinemas showing Reed movies.

By this stage the references are piling up (there's even a wave of Bride copycats), though thankfully this isn't a film that takes itself too seriously. At one point a mob of New York movie-goers somehow find flaming torches to help in their monster-hunt; Frank's obsession with musicals leads him to fantasise himself in top hat and tails singing "Putting on the Ritz", which got a big laugh in Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein back in the 70s.

Buckley's Bride is at the center of this swirling malestrom, but she doesn't quite hold it together. For much of the film the character is flailing about trying to find herself, too busy running to find any obstacles she can push against, while Frank is too decent a guy to be the enemy this feminist take could use to define itself - even if he does have a very rom-com style secret that could tear the young (well, they're not getting any older) lovers apart. 

But while this never stitches itself together into a satisfying creation, the many parts are entertaining enough on their own to make this a thrilling, if occasionally frustrating, experience. You may not love the whole, but there'll be parts you take to heart. Isn't that the way love goes?

- Anthony Morris 

Review: How to Make a Killing

Despite the always topical "kill the rich" plot, How to Make a Killing is a surprisingly old-fashioned film, and not just because it's an off-brand remake of 1949's Kind Hearts and Coronets. It's a done-in-one story built around the charm of its leading man, with the kind of plot that appeals to people worried about making a living rather than slashers or alien invasions; whatever its failings, just having it in cinemas is cause for celebration.

Beckett Redfellow (Glen Powell) should be living a life of luxury and ease. Unfortunately, while his mother was born into the insanely wealthy Redfellow family, he was born out of wedlock, his mother disowned by the family patriarch (Ed Harris), his father a musician who died of shock at the birth. 

Before his mother died she tried to bring him up right - or at least, able to walk amongst the wealthy without disgracing himself - and with a drive to make something of his life. While that hasn't really happened (as an adult, he's a suit salesman) there's still hope. The Redfellow fortune is held in a trust, and Beckett is still in line to inherit everything... just so long as the rest of the family die ahead of him. 

This seems somewhat unlikely, until a chance encounter with former crush Julia (Margaret Qualley) reminds him that money can buy happiness and that his own personal happiness is only a string of seemingly accidental deaths away.

Seeing a number of idle rich idiots being stuffed in the family mausoleum keeps things ticking along nicely, while there's just enough actual emotion going on away from the murders to provide some stakes beyond "will he get away with it" - because, as the film opens with Beckett on death row, it seems somewhat unlikely he will.

A kindly uncle provides both a leg up and some family guidance, while a seemingly heartfelt romance between Beckett and one of his dead cousin's exes (Jessica Henwick) gives Beckett a lot more to lose, and a reason to maybe hit the brakes - which the cash-strapped Julia may not be on board with.

Powell is once again a charming leading man playing a character who doesn't quite give him enough to work with. He's never quite convincing as a multiple murderer - which is fair enough, as his character is meant to have doubts pretty much from the start - but the lack of real steel in his performance does weaken things just a little.

Likewise, the "kill the rich" plot delivers when it comes to comical chumps (one-scene standouts include Zach Woods and Topher Grace), and Beckett's encounters with his feckless relatives are some of the best scenes in the film. But a tiny bit more venom wouldn't have gone astray either: these are the parasites that ruined his life (and no doubt many others) after all.

But overall this delivers plenty of old-style entertainment in a slick modern package, a nicely dark-hearted tale with plenty of twists and turns and a cast that's easy on the eye. There may not be a lot beneath the surface, but How to Make a Killing is more than just a way to kill time.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Scream 7

Tired and sluggish, Scream 7 really does feel like the seventh movie in a series. Which is a shame, because whatever the flaws of the last two Scream movies they at least had a bit of forward momentum. 

This, on the other hand, is just more of the same, and not even more of the recent same; when you can't come up with a decent angle for the increasingly pointless meta-speech about how the current wave of killings relates back to the limitless world of horror movie sequels, it's probably time to call it quits.

After an opening that serves largely to remind audiences that the opening sequences are usually the best part of a Scream movie (as director, Kevin Williamson does show some chops when it comes to staging the stalk-and-slash sequences), we get to the plot. 

Only kidding, there isn't one: after a bunch of scenes designed to establish that Sidney (Neve Campbell) is not over her trauma but also that she let everyone down by not letting her trauma force her to show up in the previous Scream film - and that she has an all new teenage daughter Tatum (Isabel May), who comes with a group of murderable friends - the latest Ghostface starts killing.

Aside from all the plot baggage, the Scream movies have a few other consistent elements. For one, Ghostface is not superhumanly invulnerable; they almost always get knocked down and smacked around before a kill, so much so that it's now common knowledge that a fight isn't over until you shoot whoever's wearing the Ghostface mask in the head.

The other is that the identity of Ghostface is a mystery: the Scream movies are whodunnits. This is a real problem when you get to the seventh film in a series, because there is a very clear hierarchy in place. 

Legacy characters who have survived one or more Ghostface attacks (that's be Courtney Cox's pushy journo Gale Weathers, back for what is basically an extended cameo) are pretty much in the clear; boring newcomers who nobody cares about are the ones to watch out for. Which makes the "mystery" something to be waited out rather than engaged in: it's not going to be anyone interesting, so let's just run the clock down.

Scream 7 does try something slightly interesting with all this, as presumed dead former Ghostface Stu Macher (Matthew Lillard) makes video calls to Sidney ranting about how he's back from the grave to kill her for what she did to him. Everyone pretty much immediately says "wow, deep fakes are pretty good these days", though there's a bit of real world evidence to muddy the waters. But at least having Lillard back does give some small dramatic heft to the otherwise pointless mystery.

Having burnt through and burnt off the previous film's reboot energy, this is really just going through the motions. Nothing new or original's being said, none of the new characters are fun or interesting and the returning ones are a pale shadow of their former selves. Campbell seems like the only one really committing to it all - as well she should, as this is basically a showcase for her character - but beyond "hey, I'm not dead", there's not much left for Sidney to say either.

The big appeal of the first Scream was that it mixed in a whole bunch of comedy and commentary on top of a decent slasher film. The decent slasher film part is pretty much all that's left; every scene where someone doesn't die feels like it's slowing things down.

- Anthony Morris 

 

 

Review: Crime 101

Crime once again rules the streets of LA, though in the case of Crime 101 it's the good kind of crime - committed by a professional who plans things down to the smallest detail, points a gun but never gets violent, only robs people who are fully insured. He's even got a good reason for his one-man crime wave. Well, he thinks it's a good reason.

When a gun misfires in his face during yet another high stakes, supposedly low risk heist, our professional thief - let's call him Mike Davis (Chris Hemsworth) - starts to re-think the risk versus reward balance in his current line of work. For his fence (Nick Nolte) this signals a lack of nerve; time to bring up the next generation of violent criminal (Barry Keoghan) to keep the money flowing.

The only cop who suspects Davis even exists (his MO is basically leaving no evidence behind, which makes proving his existence a little tricky) is Lou (Mark Ruffalo, really going for it), an extremely shabby detective who is making no friends on the force with his wild theories, and no friends at home with his habit of conducting business on the toilet.

What exactly Sharon (Halle Berry), a high-end sales executive at a very high-end insurance firm, has to do with any of this is a mystery, though she seems to be struggling a little at work and work does involve a lot of very expensive things so it's not hard to figure out where this particular subplot is heading.

What distinguishes director Bart Layton's film from all the other attempts to remake Heat is that a bit of thought has been put into proceedings (it's based on a novella by crime author Don Winslow). Some of the plot dots are left for the audience to connect; not every single thing we see on screen is explained. The heists aren't overly complex, but they're planned enough to feel plausible.

There's also a bit more going on with the characters than usual. Some of them are getting on and are a bit worn down by life; Davis swings between being smooth and professional on the job (basically being Chris Hemsworth) and awkward and unsettled in his down time. His reason for crime is personal in a way that inspires pity more than respect; he's not really someone you'd aspire to, even if he does drive a lot of fancy cars.

What connects the central characters aside from the plot is that they're all in roughly the same position in life. They've been working at their job long enough to expect respect, only to discover their hard work doesn't mean shit; not only are they replaceable the second they stop delivering but oh look, here's their replacement right now. This message is what the experts call "timely".

All this is good stuff; unfortunately, when your movie goes close to two and a half hours, you also have to deliver a few thrills to keep your audience awake. People might talk about the performances or the late night mood of Heat, but the reason why it's still being ripped off thirty years later is because of the amazing shoot-out sequence in the streets of LA. Crime 101 does have the occasional car chase or armed robbery, but you won't feel the need to move towards the edge of your seat.

What this aspires to - and largely achieves - is a kind of mature crime vibe, a noir-ish tale of people pushed into situations they didn't choose because of circumstances and a general sense that the rich folks up on the hill don't want to share. What it lacks is any real sense of desperation to kick things into high gear and give what's going on some serious stakes.

Nobody here is living on the edge; everyone could walk away and still live an okay life. America turns out to be a place where you might as well do crime because you're going to be shat on either way. 

- Anthony Morris