Review: Disclosure Day

Disclosure Day is a movie about aliens in much the same way as your average Mission: Impossible movie was about whatever was on the USB everyone was rushing around trying to grab. Aliens are what drives the story, but they're not what the story is about. Unfortunately, while the M:I movies eventually figured out that what they were about were insane stunts that were fun to watch, Disclosure Day is often about running around a lot while only moving forward a little.

That said, being directed by Steven Spielberg does mean that much of that running around is firmly entertaining, and every now and again he throws in a quality action sequence to perk things up. But for much of the running time this falls between two (or more) stools, as the plot never quite comes together while never really using its slipshod nature to throw in some entertaining curveballs.

Half the story is about whistleblower Daniel (Josh O'Connor, taking it seriously), on the run with a treasure trove of data covering decades of alien encounters. With him is Jane (Eve Hewson), his girlfriend who proves to be both asset and liability; pursuing him is a corporate entity known as Wardex, led by a very hands-on Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth), who aside from running a giant organisation and having dismissive meetings with military top brass is also the only one who can successfully use the alien tech they have stashed away.

The other half of the story is about weatherwoman Margaret (Emily Blunt, keeping it light), who is hoping to move up to real reporting but who seems a little frazzled for that kind of responsibility. Then she becomes multi-lingual, develops the ability to sense - and solve - other people's issues, starts speaking a weird alien language live on air, and ends up in the sights of Wardex. Fortunately her new psychic skills turn out to be an advantage in these situations.

They run around a lot across rural America before their paths cross, and there's even more running after that. Being on the run does get a little repetitive, though the bursts of action spice things up and keep the tension relatively high. More of a problem is the lack of any real menace from Wardex, though Scanlon does get one pretty creepy scene of long-distance psychic manipulation, which suggests a much scarier and more paranoid film then the one we get.

There's also the occasional discussion as to whether revealing the truth about aliens is a good idea. This is largely couched in religious terms, where the big question is "what happens if aliens replace God in human society?" Even the characters in the film don't really take this seriously as a proposition, though some aliens are tortured and die off-camera for our sins. 

It's not a problem that this ends up being much more about the characters than the aliens. It is a problem that it ends up being about these characters, as for plot reasons their backgrounds are largely hidden for much of the film in a way that makes them feel a little thinly sketched. The performances are all good (Blunt is often in comedy mode, and is the better for it), but for a character-based drama as this turns out to largely be, these characters are lacking.

With the alien side of things being surprisingly traditional, the most interesting material here is on the fringes. The world is moving to the brink of war but it's only glimpsed here and there; the alien encounters are dream-like and fragmentary; Margaret's boyfriend Jackson (Wyatt Russell) is the most likable character here but his role diminishes as things progress. 

Oh, and the big ending is the one point where this film takes a big swing; it's also something you could cut out (or just end the film right before it happens) and not really change the story we've just been told.

President Nixon getting drunk and wanting to impress a 50s TV star with a freezer full of alien corpses is pretty funny though.

- Anthony Morris 

 

Review: Scary Movie

You know what you're going to get with a Scary Movie. That's not to say they can't fail at what they do - it's more that at least part of the joke is that the bar is set pretty low. There's a gag early on that a character stops texting someone and calls them because the audience for these films can't read. Seems a bit harsh, but it did get a laugh.

Loosely wrapped around a "somehow, Ghostface returned" plot lifted from pretty much any one of the Scream movies (their recent revival goes some way towards explaining why this series is back) are a bunch of references to other horror movies, some of which are actually funny. A fatality-packed Final Destination amusement park, a line that a situation would be just like the one in It Follows only nobody saw that movie and the premise didn't really make sense, a riff on The Substance; you get the idea.

The plot barely hangs together - the people who are brutally murdered tend to stay dead, but that's about it for continuity - but it does organise itself around a recent trend in legacy horror: there's the original cast (in this case Marlon and Shawn Wayans are back, plus Anna Farris, Regina Hall, and Dave Sheridan as Deputy Doofy), and there's the new generation, which includes Wednesday Adams parody Tuesday (Savannah LeeNassif), Sara (Olivia Rose Keegan) and the not at all suspicious Jack (Cameron Scott Roberts).

The parodies here reach beyond horror - there's an animated K-Pop Demon Hunters sequence and a decent send-up of Michael focusing on another member of the Jackson family, to name two - and they vary from barely a reminder that the original exists to occasionally insightful. 

There's also a lot of stoner jokes, gay jokes, Black jokes, Covid jokes, DEI hire jokes, and so on, none of which are all that shocking or offensive. Plus there's a trans character who is treated - for a Scary Movie - with a surprising amount of respect (the only joke is how, after transitioning, he is more of a dude than the other dudes). Men with micropenises do not receive the same level of support.

But the whole deal here is quantity over quality, and with a run time barely over 80 minutes before the credits (there are scenes during the end credits, but nothing at the end of the end credits) this packs in enough that you can't really complain about the size of the portions. 

So is it any good? Not really, but that's beside the point. This is designed to be seen with a large audience that's committed to reacting to what's on the screen. Groans, boos, shocked gasps, befuddlement, it's all good. The occasional laugh? Yeah, you might get a couple of those too.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Masters of the Universe

There's not a lot to work with in the Masters of the Universe, uh, universe. There are good guys and bad guys, a handful of locations - one good, one evil, one they can fight over - and pretty much the closest any of them get to having a character is a rip-off from superhero comics where a nerdy guy turns into the hero by saying some magic words. So this is a movie we can safely sit out? Not so fast.

Taking not so much a leaf as a whole entire tree grown from the Barbie playbook, this take on the toy franchise is not only a solid (if a touch generic) action-adventure tale, but a story that interrogates exactly what the popularity of the toys means to the audience. Is a muscle-bound, scantily-clad sword-wielder a real role model? Is his nerdy, sensitive alter-ego more the way to go? Why not both?

Our story begins on He-Man's homeworld, where the eight year-old Prince Adam (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt) is failing at being trained to be a deadly warrior by Man-at-Arms (Idris Elba), much to the displeasure of his father (James Purefoy). Why all the pressure? The answer soon arrives in the form of Skeletor (Jared Leto) and his army of freaks and thugs - plus magic user Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie). 

When Castle Greyskull is breached, only the quick work of the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) sends Adam and the Sword of Power through a portal to Earth and safety. Only he loses the sword, and spends the next fifteen-odd years growing up to be a sensitive HR manager (complete with He/Him pronouns) who's also kind of a creepy weirdo obsessed with swords and living in a room covered with drawings of action figures (it's his way of remembering the people from his past).

All the Earth stuff is really just to establish that the adult Adam (Nicolas Galitzine) is a bit of a dork. So when he finally finds the sword, and touching it alerts everyone to where it is, he's far from ready to deal with what happens next. It's only when his now grown-up classmate Teela (Carmila Mendes) arrives to bring him home that he starts to get a grip on things beyond his sword - and even then he's far from ready to deal with a home planet now ruled by Skeletor.

Chances are if anyone's thought of a He-Man joke in the last few decades, it'll turn up here (memes included). It turns out the embarrassing names of all the classic toys - Fisto and Ram Man, to name two - were given to them by Adam as a child on Earth; he didn't know their real names, and they're not pleased to hear what he now calls them, even if he is their biggest fan. 

On the evil side of the street, Skeletor is both menacing and extremely camp, an actual threat that gives the movie real stakes while also being a preening egomaniac constantly frustrated by his loser underlings. Most of all, he's fun; we might not see Leto's face, but this is his best performance in ages. Though he's a first amongst equals here, with strong performances across the board bringing this collection of action figures to life.

None of the individual elements here are a stand-out, but taken as a whole this is an enormously entertaining and wildly satisfying romp that respects the original IP while also treating it as a comedy goldmine. It's a film for all ages (parents might want to come up with an explanation for the multiple 'Fisto' jokes) that's big on both action and comedy while still managing to have a few things to say about growing up obsessed with action figures.

It also makes Trap Jaw an actual threat, which is pretty impressive in and of itself. C'mon, he's named Trap Jaw!

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Backrooms

 

As a viral YouTube hit with multiple videos and a growing amount of lore, “The Backrooms” was an obvious candidate for the big screen. Well, obvious until you stopped to think about it. How are you going to make a successful movie out of creeping people out by slowly wandering around a bizarre maze that’s mostly just a weird take on the service areas hidden from the public at stadiums and hotels?

“Add characters” is the obvious answer, even if it threatens to defuse the atmosphere the series relies on. Fortunately, Clarke (Chiweltel Ejiofor) has a lot going on even before things get spooky. A former architect now running a half empty furniture warehouse (where he also lives), his sessions with therapist Mary (Renate Reinsve) reveal a man filled with anger who sees being alone as his natural state.

After a spate of strange electrical issues at the store, he discovers a… weak spot in the wall, which he can pass through and enter a sodium-lit mirror of the real world, filled with items sinking into the floor and walls that don’t make sense. It’s strange, but nothing more than that, right?

Oh wait, right at the start of the film we saw a found footage sequence involving someone in a biohazard suit hurrying through the same creepy location, only he was scared out of his wits that something bad was going to happen. And then it did. There’s something roaming the backrooms and it doesn’t seem friendly.

The horror here is balanced between a bunch of jump scares and chase sequences in the backrooms - all effectively handled by first time director Kane Parsons (creator of the original YouTube shorts) - and the wider mystery of what might be going on in an endless space that seems to clumsily mimic the memories of those who stumble into it.

The unsettling vibe of endless bland corridors and rooms is what makes the concept work, and this fits enough of that in to keep things faithful while building on the concept just enough to make it satisfying as a stand alone film. Are the backrooms a reflection of the recesses of our mind? Or some place trying to copy and replace reality itself? Maybe it’s neither, or both, or something else.

For those who have been following the YouTube saga, you’re not left out.  This is pretty much a parallel tale - this is happening here, the YouTube stuff is over there, and the Backrooms are endless so there’s plenty of room for both. You don’t need to be up with the mythos to get what’s happening on the occasions when it does intrude, but it’s a nice little Easter egg if you are.

This is the kind of story where less (explanation) is more, and Parsons knows we’re here to be creeped out, not learn a lesson or be handed an extended metaphor for AI generated content. It’s basically a two hander set in a terrifyingly alien yet superficially mundane location where curiosity is just one of the things that’ll get you killed. You'll never look at a service corridor the same way again.

 

- Anthony Morris 

Review: The Mandalorian and Grogu

You don't have to be a box office expert to know that the only movies people are currently leaving their homes to see are the movies that offer them something they can't get at home. Which is not great news for The Mandalorian and Grogu, a movie that's literally just an extended episode of a television series that already looks like a halfway decent movie.

The flip side, of course, is that it's the return of the Star Wars franchise to the big screen after seven or so years of struggle on television. And it really does feel like Star Wars, in that it's a fairly episodic string of adventures featuring loads of creatures and decent action tied together by an overarching plot that leads to a big "good versus evil" climax. There's even X-Wing fighters!

So while it's hardly a must see (though it does look good in IMAX if that's an option), it is a fun time at the movies. There's no real backstory required either if you're coming in cold: Mando (the voice and sometimes body of Pedro Pascal) and baby yoda Grogu are badasses for hire who are currently working with the now-victorious rebels (this is set after Return of the Jedi) cleaning up the galaxy by bringing in Imperial holdouts.

After a solid all-action opening that establishes their kick-arse credentials, they're given a mission by their boss and paymaster Ward (Sigourney Weaver) that's a little more complicated than most. To track down an extra evil former Imperial officer (important point: nobody knows what he looks like), they have to get his location from a pair of Hutts (as in Jabba the Hutt) who will only help out if their nephew Rotta is rescued and brought back to them.

So our heroes have to head off to a very cyberpunk-ish city on a small moon, where crime rules the streets and the Hutt they're looking for is being held by a local crime boss who runs a death sport operation. After some entertaining information gathering involving a bar fight and an offer Mando can refuse, they find Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White). Twist number one: he's fighting of his own free will (and getting swole doing it) as a way to renounce his family's criminal heritage - he's the son of Jabba, and his relatives want him dead to claim the family business.

Things only get more complicated from there, mostly in ways that involve fighting monsters, stormtroopers, and droids. There's nothing here that's truly stand-out - the action is good and well thought out but not amazing, while the story keeps the pace up and the stakes relatively low - but it does all flow together well to create a satisfying, if never outstanding, whole.

Pascal does some great voice acting here, and his affection for Grogu really comes through. Grogu is a puppet most of the time, but a cute one (and the way most of his Force-jumping scenes are clearly just someone throwing a doll around is fun). Considering they're a guy in an expressionless helmet and a muppet with maybe three expressions, they're a great team to watch. 

It's very much a kid-friendly space western, which is what 85% of all Star Wars movies and series should be. As far as human drama goes, for long stretches of this film there aren't even human faces on the screen. It's in no way essential viewing: it feels like exactly the kind of film parents take their half interested kids to, and then spend the next week explaining that no, they're not going to go see it again. 

A long time ago, the Star Wars brand was strong enough to sell pretty much anything. Now it has to earn an audience just like everyone else. This feels like a back-to-basics acknowledgement of that reality. But in a world where you can get this kind of thing at home, a trip to the cinema might as well be a galaxy far, far away.

- Anthony Morris 

 

Review: Finding Emily

It's a tale as old as time: a young man, convinced that a woman he hardly knows and can't currently contact, is the love of his life. Another young woman aids him in his quest for her own reasons; long before the man realises it, everyone else can see that his real love is standing right beside him.

Finding Emily does a lot with this premise, not all of it successful. A big part of the story is that the quest goes viral, which raises a lot of questions that the film doesn't exactly ignore, but that don't quite fit the breezy vibe the story is going for. You need an angle if your rom-com idea is going to cut through, but sometimes sticking to the basics is your best move.

Those basics being: Owen (Spike Fearn) works at a Manchester university as a sound technician. Don't worry, he's student-aged, and as he's in a non-teaching role he's able to date students... if any of them were interested.

One night at the noisy club where his job is mostly to keep the music under the legal limit, he meets a girl and they hit it off. One problem: when she gives him her number, she leaves a digit out. Owen is sure it's a legitimate mistake and not an attempt to fob him off, and so begins his quest.

With only a name to go on, his first fumbling attempts lead him to Emily (Angourie Rice), a psych student who really, really needs a hook to hang her final project on. Her thesis is that love is basically rubbish; Owen's clearly doomed flailings seem the perfect example - now all she has to do is keep him searching. Fingers crossed he doesn't find out the whole basis for their friendship was built on a lie!

Things rapidly escalate when an attempt to use the university's mailing list to hit up every Emily exposes his scheme to all of them (pro tip; BCC is your friend), turning his quest into an online trending topic. It's a case of two steps forward, one step back as the public struggles to decide whether he's a creep or a nice guy looking for love; turns out being good on the guitar still counts for a lot in today's romance economy.

There's a lot going on here, maybe a little too much. There's a large cast of characters, some of which don't earn their keep; Owen's backstory includes a dead mother and a brother looking to sell the family home out from under him; Emily has a years-long doomed obsession with a guy clearly not that interested in her. His being an online sensation adds a few jokes but doesn't seem essential, though it is tied in to Emily spurring him on.

The real problem with the overly cluttered storyline is that the relationship between Owen and Emily is a good enough reason to keep watching in and of itself - so much so that the other hijinx eventually start to feel like a distraction. Fearn is consistently likable as an aimless drifter seeking salvation in love (while also not wanting to be creepy about it), while Rice is even better as the often-flustered Emily, who is rapidly in over her head in a number of ways.

Finding Emily has other strengths - the jokes are pretty good for starters - but the central relationship is both endearingly earnest and sweetly authentic, and the scenes where they're just spending time together are easily the strongest. The world around them might be chaotic, but what they have between them is real; they're a fun couple and it's hard not to want them to make it work.

Which, when you boil it down, is all you want from a film like this.

- Anthony Morris 

Review: Mortal Kombat II

A rare Hollywood sequel that delivers on what the first film set up, Mortal Kombat II is packed with, well, combat of the mortal variety. It's a film where someone delivers a heart-rending monologue to a fallen adversary while the massive circular saw blade they were power-slammed onto is still spinning through their torso, spraying blood everywhere. So the real question is: why isn't this more awesome?

The first film ran right up to the edge of the promised tournament for the fate of "Earth Realm" then stopped. So we start with a bit of backstory here: after her father failed to defeat the evil Shao Khan (Martyn Ford), dooming her realm to his brutal leadership, Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) has become one of the tyrant's most potent weapons. Together with her bodyguard Jade (Tati Gabrielle), she's at the forefront of his latest battle - conquering Earth.

Meanwhile,  for reasons best known to the gods, Earth's final champion has been chosen: washed up 90s action star Johnny Cage (Karl Urban). Despite the best efforts of Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano), Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) and the rest, he refuses the call. But the gods care not for his desires.

Both of these storylines are a solid basis for a film. Unfortunately, they're surrounded by lore, surplus characters, a story that probably has too much going on - Shao Khan is also after an amulet that will make him immortal, and therefore impossible to defeat in combat - and a bunch of other characters coming back from the dead. Though as one of them is Kano (Josh Lawson), easily the comedy highlight of this and the previous film, the loss of dramatic stakes is probably worth it.

Returning director Simon McQuoid does a solid job with the fights, of which there are many, and the often insanely gory finishing moves are much appreciated. Urban does his best to milk the comedy from his blowhard character, though his Cage works best when he's actually trying to do the right thing. Kitana's story is where the real drama lies; a tighter focus on the two leads might have sidelined some of the fan favourite fighters, but would have made for a stronger film.

There's one brief flashback to explain a side character's backstory, but if you don't have strong memories of where the previous film ended you're largely on your own. It's not a big problem, even when towards the end a conflict that seemed pretty much definitively concluded in the first film is dug up because the characters involved are cool and it's cool to have them fight again. Mortal Kombat II: cool fights are cool.

If only they could figure out a way to have the very first second of the film be the cry of "Mortal Kombat!!!" from Techno Syndrome like the first 90s one did. 

- Anthony Morris